Today I write about death, the heavy and menacing sharp sword hanging over our heads attached to a wire stretched thin ... amount that inevitably end up falling by putting an end to our life.
started dying from the moment we are born, and yet we strive to imagine eternal, to think we are immortal, constantly cover our eyes to the intense brightness of the scythe.
We invent gods, and even religions that promise wonderful paradise, we even killed for our beliefs without knowing with certainty the final result of our actions, motivated by faith instilled, never proven, to which we must lose our heads to which we have no arguments because, after all, or believe or die, that simple ... "Poor fool walking along a trail and open and not trying to open his own ."
We are taught that death is the result of a sin when it is actually the result of life because life would not exist without dying all the time ... trying to get away from that nasty edge that terrifies us, smell us wrong, we are disgusted, and during that attempt did not we realize that whatever we do our final destination is in a dark and lonely grave.
And we will die but do not pretend, we will die no matter the religion we profess, how old we are, life we \u200b\u200blive, how happy or sad we are ... we will die for the simple fact of being alive. Not worth complaints, no regrets or desires worth intense and good wishes ... one day, sometime, somewhere, alone or in company, our eyes are closed forever and our consciousness ceases to exist.
" Oh! Ironies of life because I pray that when that time comes I can tell myself: I'm still my own and my conscience. "
My body screamed to see her screaming in the wind when taps between the cliffs, the blood runs through my veins stopped squeezing between the walls of my heart and squeezes the water to slip between the steep slopes of lofty mountains, the air left my lungs leaving them waiting for your breath and my skin just want to feel heard yours ... Then, suddenly, I discovered that you had me in your arms.
How can we forget each share of minutes I'm living for them?, How pretending calm in your absence if you had your tongue so close to making love with mine? ... How close eyes without seeing if I can almost caress it with just touch me?, how not smell you when I breathe when I discovered that I do through you?, how not to feel my lips kiss and imagine yours?, tell me ... but although say, even telling me, I will not ...
On a soft, rolling hills, the wind moved the grass resembling small and quiet waves that were lost in the horizon, or perhaps they were the hairs of a giant, lazy, carelessly slept laying his head on the wet earth ... the sun partially hidden by clouds that seemed to play around trying to calm him caused hardly subtle and vague flashes after which seemed to rise with greater strength, warming every inch, every corner, every hole on the surface ...
The rattling sound of water among the stones and the wind on my face to crackle in my ears were all that could hear, after that there was only silence.
Still, for a time just to feel I just seemed to find myself in the middle of a dream in which all that mattered was being there, standing, without speaking, without moving, without thinking, just being ... was the most close to freedom, I thought, I had to do anything ... ironies of life ... wanting to do many things, now he felt no need to move, or to intervene ... "nothing" was all I felt I wanted to do ...
In the distance a figure had begun to form, was only a dim outline, vague , but moved ... I realize that I felt, I knew I was there, I understood that came to me, that I was his goal at that moment, perhaps always had been, I dunno, I do not mind not knowing, only one more thought, only that ... I could not fear.
When he was in front of me I could tell that this figure seemed to be me, but I was a different, naked, vulnerable ... her eyes lost in a dark sea, his body hunched over their shoulders as if bear a terrible burden, his arms almost touched the ground, their skin was different, could be seen through it and saw it all: guts, blood, lungs, heart, all dried up, all up, half-rotten ... when I returned I noticed his eyes had not stopped looking at me, seemed to know what you thought, but I felt nothing, still did not feel anything, nor sorrow, di pain, or even disgust, I felt nothing ...
raised his hand and grabbed mine, did it tenderly, as if not to me the least damage, and then squeezed, squeezed hard ... thousands of images came to mind, terrible, terrible, oh God that's what I see! wrinkle my heart, my soul is broken, my body, my mind is invaded by despair ... What is this I see, What is it that you show me? ... That voice!, I know, is my voice, that laugh!, My laughter, the tears!, Is mine ... and the pain?, That pain is not mine, that gap is not mine ... So many feelings together, so many images, so many sounds, such rot ... that I can not be me, No! Definitely not ...
Trying to avoid returning to the lethargy that caused me the landscape, trying to breathe some clean air that was still wrapped around me but that was when I heard his voice, the voice that froze my blood and nail in my heart like a sharp sword by thousand men ... "I am what you fear most, because what you fear most is yourself, I'm your truth, your reality, I'm what you've done for you ..."
Today I 
hope I do not repeat myself, but I always write what I feel ... forgive me for that.
In recent days I have been things that had not all happened so fast that I have not had time to understand the exhaustion that devours me, loneliness, that eternal chase mine bad weather that has been stained gray sky and the clouds obscured my heart hurt more and more squeeze into my chest and my breath away. I can only say that I go back to biting my nails ... Always I think I am imperfect, for myself, my friends, for everyone ... I've always believed to be unworthy of friendship, for love ... I have always been less than anyone else, trying to learn every day a little bit about me, on the subject how to ease the burden for me is my self, my consent, those shackles that tie me to reality, a reality that did not want to live but to which I am doomed. Again I feel fucked up, party on the inside ... I do not think I act bad because I like to hurt people I love, no, that would be crazy ... I tend to be selfish with each other and with me, I tend to be goat, is usually much things but I never do it cheap excuses to hide behind ... I am and always will be responsible for the things I did, do and will for the rest of my life, never lower my eyes to look at the ground and hide their tails between their legs ... it never will.
is a long way to go, but that road is in front of me, never behind, that I know, that I am always safe.
How to describe a woman?, Did I can compare the delicate fluttering of a butterfly with the subtle delight of her hips? ... No, I can not, a woman is a summary of sensations or feelings or even of words, it is a compendium of virtues or a bunch of situations ... is not a look, not a smile, not an emotion, neither that nor anything like that or all together. What then? Yes, this was exactly what happened, then I look in her eyes was enough to find it, does that?, Discovering that a woman is the beginning and end of a story, is a raging torrent that breaks the stones and jumps fearlessly into the dark abyss of a perpetual fund, is the sweet caress of a drop of rain on the dry, cracked soil, is the raging wind sculpts mountains and gives way to waves, is the speck of dust that irritates the tearing eyes thousand tears, uncontrollable anger is a kite fight to avoid being engulfed by a star ... is each of these things and all of them together, but perhaps not as complex, no, maybe not that hard. Maybe, just maybe, a woman is not what I thought I saw or felt what I thought, maybe, just maybe, a woman is only the warm breath of reality that ties my feet to the ground ... bah! I admit, I can not help comparing this wonderful delight of her hips with the soft, hesitant flapping of a butterfly, I can not even I am not prepared to describe a woman, I know, may never be.
Way through a hesitant absolute dark, waving my hands trying to grab something to lean on, something which I mean not only what I see is emptiness, what I feel ... I'm moving, sometimes in circles, sometimes straight, who cares, in the blackness is the same here as there, the distance becomes meaningless, colors, shapes, textures, time, is it beauty?. Only thing is still alive I can feel, I can hear, I can smell ... but I've noticed that in spite of everything I'm alive, I'm sorry, I hear the sound of my heart, like the saliva in my mouth, I recognize the smell of my skin, the shapes of my body ... I am more than I can see, I'm over it that others can see: "Oh! I want to be naive because I felt more than seen, feel my love, feel me, for there lies, as clear as water, my truth " in the dark ... I see no borders, the darkness is infinite, around me, through me, makes me part of it. Every minute is like a journey, a discovery, I find that I look for support outside, outside my no poles, no walls, no stones, ballast and the supports are manufactured me me me life fabricate me ... I am what I do for me in the dark but I am who I am, I am not what I want to be, I'm just, that's the key, my key ... I confine myself to be just that ... life is not a competition for me is an opportunity to learn to be to be from within. I am my respect, my point of departure and arrival ... I am what I am, now I understand ... the ironies of life in the dark has learned to see ... now, finally, open your eyes forever. A voice inside me whispers: "close your eyes and learn, close your eyes and live, close your eyes and see" .
His hands ran through my body, first his hands and then, then was it. Every inch of her skin, the skin touched mine, I caused a different feeling, one by one every second was enriched by the following, each vibrating hair charged with the energy provided from each one of his pores. I waved, I was stunned, I was undergoing, and it was not me who was driving, I could not pretend he did not want, now I was getting carried away ... So I opened my mouth and felt her wetness, taste flooded every corner of my mouth, playing with his tongue and all vapors inhaled. Breathing hard, my heart throbbed between my legs and pounding the summary of all my desire, flushed skin, tight blood, multiplied sensitivity, passion turned into flesh ... I knew I was headed for an abyss at any moment fall into him, but he wanted ... he wanted to get to the end, wished to operate as a star when he arrived end of his life, wanted to deliver in a second synthesis of my life, I wanted to die for a moment to yell at her sex all the love I felt ... and I fell.
Sometimes you step forward and, without ever knowing it, you feel you fall off a cliff deep, dark, dreary, dead-end. That's just what I feel today. At first everything was anguish, my heart throbbed and my pores exuded a cold sweat, now that I have been falling for several hours I used to empty. Beginning to wander, my mind then decides to join me in the fall. Life hurts me, hurts me, hurts me, I've lived a given within a reality that is beyond me, reality is not my site, I feel strange, do not belong to today, not to yesterday, not tomorrow, not belong to this world, have always been a passenger on a train aimless sick by the evils of a frivolous and selfish society. I look up expecting to see a hand that I hold, I look calm, a breath encourage me, but I'm falling, I'm down, I rush in absolute solitude and all I see, all I can see is dark ... I'm getting used to empty, I'm getting used to die, after all I'm dying from the day I was born ... do not give me courage, give me no comfort, no need your sorrow and your mercy, did not need your pity or your good intentions, just needed a place to dream and someone who wanted to share it with me, just needed a place, my place, my world that never was, never will ... I keep falling, not is how much longer, now just close my eyes and wait, wait for everything to end, my heart was not agitated, my mind is calmer, I have nothing else to do, I'm used to empty.
came into my life in the form of a wonderful chance, as with everything ends agujereándote soul. You become so importantly, it means so much to me, that does not exist in my life not one day when my thoughts do not appear, you, your eyes, your eyes, that look that makes my sorrow into joy, that fill my life with magic, soothes my worries and calm my fears ... that look that shows, which softens and comforts that tender look of yours ... I have been stuck in heart, which has become for me in that magical wardrobe which I always came because you do not I have never denied entry ... I have only to look at you to start dreaming ... if everyone could see in them what I see!, I hope you never lose their shine, do not let go, do not allow.
I care about you and you know, I know that I care because it hurts when you get hurt, because I breathe the air you breathe, for I have come to know as much as myself ... is that I care because you think you feel alone, because I hear your voice to remind you, because I can feel what your heart feels, because your shadow and mine look like one, and because each time your heart bleeds do mine twice.
As I write this letter with tears falling from my eyes, they are sad, are happy, do not worry, I am reminded that life is worth, it's worth feeling, it's worth waking up every morning, I remember that I have you by my side and you'll always ...
know what I am, I know how hard it is to verbalize what I feel, today I let my hands speak for me, today I have stopped many things that keep me inside and I had decided to give you what best to do that is writing, at last, after all, in everything I write there is always a little bit about yourself, what you have taught me.
abrasaría If I could I with all my strength and will pull you do not ever ... I hope some day to come into your dreams while you sleep and live with one of these fantastic adventures that sometimes you tell me ... hopefully one day we can sit on a bench in front of the sea \u200b\u200band remember our adventure together, I want to all my heart ... thanks for making me feel all this, I love you I love you a billion times.
